Beansprouts

By Michael Lace:

Couples generally enter marriage with engines revving, but sooner or later find their relationship “idling.” The thrill is gone, arguments easily become overheated, and the pressure of jobs, kids, etc., is on. What causes this once smooth-running machine to knock and sputter?

The biggest culprits are dangerous patterns of thinking that wear your marriage down and lead to big blow-outs. When conflicts become habitual, it’s not surprising that you begin to think negatively far more often than you consider your marriage’s positive aspects. Here are a few of the warning lights. Any of these look familiar?

Feeling bored with your spouse. Before you were married, getting to know each other and establishing a deep commitment were welcome challenges. But now you’ve “been there, done that” on just about everything. Both of you sense the lack of excitement, but life is so crowded it’s easy to stop making the effort to learn more about each other. Yawn.

Focusing on differences. The same opposite traits that you once found so charming are now simply annoying. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve caught myself thinking: “We’d get so much more accomplished if [my wife] would just do things my way.”

Fixating on a fantasy. It’s easy to fall into a habit of daydreaming about your “perfect spouse” as an escape from dealing with the real one. Some of this is natural—at times the fantasy is a lot simpler to handle. But you can take it too far, especially when you become disappointed because your spouse doesn’t meet the impossible standards of your fantasy. Wake up! Dreams are just that—dreams.

Avoiding your mate. Setting aside a little time for yourself is healthy. For instance, I try to take a solo camping trip once a year. But if you’re avoiding contact with your spouse, or if the time you spend together feels like a chore, that’s a clear warning that you need to spend even more time together.

Pursuing individual goals. Couples often get discouraged when they find it difficult to establish joint goals. When communication starts to break down, you’re quick to think, “My spouse isn’t going to listen to me anyway. So I’ll just go ahead and make this decision myself.” Before you know it, you’re focusing on what you need instead of what’s best for both of you.

Reaching the boiling point. When everything your mate does seems to make you crazy, irritable and just plain mad, that’s a clear signal that your attitudes are mired in negativity. But if you think back, you’ll remember a time when your relationship was full of promise. What changed?

If recognizing the warning signals has you gripping the wheel, don’t panic. These are normal responses to the challenges of everyday marriage. The warning lights simply tell you when to stop and check things out. Here are eight ways you can give your marriage the tune-up it needs.

Get intentional. Create a positive experience for you and your spouse—on purpose. Blow a wad on a great date night or a surprise for your mate. Then do it again in a few weeks.

Study your spouse. What kinds of things does he or she get excited about? What are your mate’s dreams? What does your spouse think would make his or her life more fulfilling? One way to make your partner feel appreciated is to express genuine interest. Even better, you’ll both experience joy as you help make your spouse’s life more satisfying.

Sort through the negatives. Which problems are negligible—things you can live with—and which ones are important and must be resolved? As you sort them out, you may be surprised at how few “biggies” there really are. Also, as you tackle one or two problems together, the next one that comes along won’t seem so insurmountable.

Set mutual goals. Offset the tendency to focus on yourself by finding one or more areas that you can purposefully work on together. My wife and I recently agreed to work toward a financial goal of spending less for the next 12 months so we can pay off a debt. Agreeing to achieve this goal together turned a sore point into a connecting experience.

Don’t let feelings fester. Find the time and energy to resolve disagreements as they come up—even if it requires a “late-nighter.” Long-term resentments can use up more energy than a few hours of wrestling through a problem.

Focus on reality. Guess what? The grass is browner on the other side of the fence. The perfect spouse doesn’t exist—anywhere. So look for what you love and appreciate about the one you’ve chosen.

Be a servant. This is how Jesus won over the multitudes. So make your mate the target of some good deeds this week. Serving your spouse will actually make you feel better.

Seek excellence. Work as hard to maintain your marriage as you do to advance in your career or to excel in raising your kids. What areas need extra attention? How will you know if you’ve met your goals? Generate new energy and creativity and apply them to your marriage.

Don’t let the challenges of the road throw you off track. A positive relationship is a destination worth pursuing—together.

* “They do not love who do not show their love.”—William Shakespeare

* “If couples would put half the effort into marriage that they put into courtship, they would be surprised how things would brighten up.”—Billy Graham

Many marriage experts have expressed this same thought. Once you’re married, the courtship doesn’t end; it’s just taken to another level.

* “The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together.”—Robert C.

“You mustn’t force sex to do the work of love, or love to do the work of sex.”—Mary McCarthy

In other words, both sex and love are needed in a marriage. Sometimes sex is the best way to show your mate that you love him or her. It can be just what is needed to bond you, to create intimacy and a time when you can deeply connect. At other times, though, your mate needs to feel your love manifested in other ways—such as through simple affection, or appreciation, or letting them sleep in while you get up with the children. You need to know what is needed and when it is needed.

Ordering foods!

Paddy a bit lost the whole time..

Happy Pady with the spoon!

Happy French people!

My little angel!

Grandpa and Mandy!

Happy uncle Chris!

Eating empty plate!

Green green salad!

Soup!

Pady likes the soup!

Mommy and Paddy!

Happy Pady!

Pretty Naty!

Happy 60 years birthday!

Pady been serious!

It was very yummy!

Yumyum!

Cal is very concentrated!

Happy Daddy!

Very very happy uncle Chris!

Thank God for good foods! Such a blessing!

Happy Mandy!

Smile everyone! But as you can see,not everyone is happy…:-D

I wonder what did Paty see! Hmmm…..

Eating long meals are boring for Pady..he needs actions!

Happy Pady!

Naty is so serious! Well, we are enjoy our service drinks from the shop! It was nice foods and nice drinks. We had such a fun time!

Very nice coffee!

Yummy drink!

Mandy enjoys her drink!

Naty checking out Cal!

Pady trying really hard to fly..:-)

Cal is full and happy!

Mandy is always full of surprises!

Happy happy Paddy!

Mandy and her cute face!

We are all happy beside Pady! Poor thing, it was way past his nap time!

And we end it with ice cream! Thank you Jesus for such a fun day! And please give grandma a wonderful and happy year that’s full of love, joy and peace! We love you grandma! Happy birthday!

Once Upon a Time… These true to life stories speak for themselves. Don’t let life pass you by. Live, love, and have no regrets.

The Bum!

Author unknown It was a cold winter’s day that Sunday. The church parking lot was filling up quickly. I noticed as I got out of my car that fellow church members were whispering among themselves as they walked to the church. As I got closer, I saw a man leaning up against the wall outside the church. He was almost lying down as if he was asleep. He had on a long trench coat that was almost in shreds and a hat topped his head, pulled down so you could not see his face. He wore shoes that looked 30 years old, too small for his feet, with holes all over them, his toes stuck out. I assumed this man was homeless and asleep, so I walked on by through the doors of the church. We all fellowshipped for a few minutes, and someone brought up the man lying outside. People snickered and gossiped but no one bothered to ask him to come in, including me. A few moments later, church began. We all waited for the preacher to take his place and to give us the Word, when suddenly the doors to the church opened. In came the homeless man walking down the aisle with his head down. People gasped and whispered and made faces. He made his way down the aisle and up onto the pulpit where he took off his hat and coat. My heart sank. There stood our preacher. He was the “homeless man.” No one said a word. The preacher took his Bible and laid it on the stand. “Folks, I don’t think I have to tell you what I am preaching about today.” Then he started singing the words to this song. “If I can help somebody as I pass along, if I can cheer somebody with a word or song, if I can show somebody that he’s traveling wrong, then my living shall not be in vain.”

*Even the little things you can do mean a lot, a little bit of love goes such a long way. The Lord says, “Invite the poor, the lame, the halt, and the blind and those who can’t repay you, and then your Father in Heaven will repay you!” Knowing that you’re loved gives you hope and faith for other things, too! That’s one of the wonderful things about God’s love: When we know that God loves us, we know everything is going to be okay, including His taking care of everything!

The Letter

Author unknown

Ruth went to her mail box and there was only one letter. She picked it up and looked at it before opening, then she looked at the envelope again. There was no stamp, no postmark, only her name and address. She read the letter:

Dear Ruth, I’m going to be in your neighborhood Saturday afternoon and I’d like to stop by for a visit. Love always, Jesus

Her hands were shaking as she placed the letter on the table. “Why would the Lord want to visit me? I’m nobody special. I don’t have anything to offer.” With that thought, Ruth remembered her empty kitchen cabinets. “Oh my goodness, I really don’t have anything to offer. I’ll have to run down to the store and buy something for dinner.” She reached for her purse and counted out its contents. Five dollars and forty cents. “Well, I can get some bread and cold cuts, at least.” She threw on her coat and hurried out the door. A loaf of French bread, a half-pound of sliced turkey, and a carton of milk, leaving Ruth with a grand total of twelve cents to last her until Monday. Nonetheless, she felt good as she headed home, her meager offerings tucked under her arm. “Hey, lady, can you help us, lady?” Ruth had been so absorbed in her dinner plans, she hadn’t even noticed two figures huddled in the alleyway. A man and a woman, both of them dressed in little more than rags. “Look lady, I ain’t got a job, and my wife and I have been living out here on the street, and, well, now it’s getting cold and we’re getting kinda hungry and, well, if you could help us, we’d really appreciate it.” Ruth looked at them both. They were dirty, they smelled bad and, frankly, she was certain that they could get some kind of work if they really wanted to. “Sir, I’d like to help you, but I’m a poor woman myself. All I have is a few cold cuts and some bread, and I’m having an important guest for dinner tonight and I was planning on serving that to Him.” “Well, okay, I understand. Thanks anyway.” The man put his arm around the woman’s shoulders, turned and headed back into the alley. As she watched them leave, Ruth felt a familiar twinge in her heart. “Sir, wait!” The couple stopped and turned as she ran down the alley after them. “Look, why don’t you take this food. I’ll figure out something else to serve my guest.” She handed the man her grocery bag. “Thank you. Thank you very much!” “Yes, thank you!” It was the man’s wife, and Ruth could see now that she was shivering. “You know, I’ve got another coat at home. Here, why don’t you take this one.” Ruth unbuttoned her jacket and slipped it over the woman’s shoulders. Then smiling, she turned and walked back to the street, without her coat and with nothing to serve her guest. “Thank you, lady! Thank you very much!” Ruth was chilled by the time she reached her front door, and worried too. Jesus was coming to visit and she didn’t have anything to offer Him. She fumbled through her purse for the door key. But as she did, she noticed another envelope in her mailbox. “That’s odd. The mailman doesn’t usually come twice in one day.” She took the envelope out of the box and opened it.

Dear Ruth, It was so good to see you again. Thank you for the lovely meal. And thank you, too, for the beautiful coat. Love always, Jesus

*  “From him that hath, according to his ability, unto him that hath not, according to his need.”—that’s the sharing principle of love—and the loving principle of sharing!

* Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, and fed thee? Or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? Or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. (Matthew 25:37-38)

Billy Boy

Author unknown

His name is Bill. He has wild hair, wears a T-shirt with holes in it, jeans and no shoes. This was literally his wardrobe for his entire four years of college. He is brilliant. Kind of esoteric and very, very bright. He became a Christian while attending college. Across the street from the campus is an elegant, very conservative church. They want to develop a ministry to the students, but are not sure how to go about it. One day Bill decides to go there. He walks in with no shoes, jeans, his T-shirt, and wild hair. The service has already started and so Bill starts down the aisle looking for a seat. The church is completely packed and he can’t find a seat. By now people are really looking a bit uncomfortable, but no one says anything. Bill gets closer and closer and closer to the pulpit, and when he realizes there are no seats, he just squats down right on the carpet. (Although perfectly acceptable behavior at a college fellowship, trust me, this had never happened in this church before!) By now the people are really uptight, and the tension in the air is thick. About this time, the minister realizes that from way at the back of the church, a deacon is slowly making his way toward Bill. Now the deacon is in his eighties, has silver-gray hair, and a three-piece suit. A godly man, very elegant, very dignified, very courtly. He walks with a cane and, as he starts walking toward this boy, everyone is saying to themselves that you can’t blame him for what he’s going to do. How can you expect a man of his age and of his background to understand some college kid on the floor? It takes a long time for the man to reach the boy. The church is utterly silent except for the clicking of the man’s cane. All eyes are focused on him. You can’t even hear anyone breathing. The minister can’t even preach the sermon until the deacon does what he has to do. And now they see this elderly man drop his cane on the floor. With great difficulty he lowers himself and sits down next to Bill and worships with him so he won’t be alone. Everyone chokes up with emotion. When the minister gains control, he says, “What I’m about to preach, you will never remember. What you have just seen, you will never forget.”

Trying to get the zarigami…

Zarigami…

Keith got a big one!

More fishing..

We decided to go to the park first and pick up the zarigami on the way home…

My “big” boy! I prayed for a “fat boy” when I had him in my tummy..I always want a fat baby!

Such cuteness…thank God for childrean!

Beautiful Shimizu park!

A big christmas tree!

Checking out a fish pond!

We saw a school of fishes..they are so cute! But there is a sign says please dont’ take the fishes home,  they are the foods for the birds that come to the park! But they are so cute…..:-(

checking out the boats..

AND we get to DO it! YAY! Thank you Rie-san for supporting our outings! And thank you for the winnie the pooh towel, Nathalie really loves it!

Ooops, little accident…

So much fun!

Not a clear picture, but they look so happy!!

Cool little man…

Beauty and the beast! Thank you  Laura for puring into the kids and been the wonderful teacher for the kids, we really are  thankful for you! Thank you for everything! We love you and appreciate you!

Picking up a zarigami on the way home…

We got this one   home with us, and we read up on the book about zarigami and found out the one we took home wasn’t really zarigami..and it likes to eat earth worms, so we went to the garden and got some for its dinner. Mommy didn’t come, so there is no photo of earth worm digging!

Entrance of the park! Its fun and its free and its very good excercise!!

Paddy is trying too…

Pady tried to smile for camera.

It was as easy as Paddy thought…:-)

Naty is having fun!

Cal the monkey man! He really likes out door activities! Boys really are belong to the nature!

He made it!!

Naty is claiming!

Paddy having so much fun!!

Walking very carefully and so concentrate…

He triped a little…

He got up and try again!

Getting a little more confident, so he let go of daddy’s hand..

Paddy made it!!!

I made it,mommy!!

This one is a bit too easy for Cal..

Mandy wants to try it too…

Cal tries to help.

Carefully trying…

very carefully..

getting confident…

feeling happy that she made it!

Mandy is happy!

Kids found some fruits that make purple color…

Naty loves those fruits..

Cute Mandy!

Pady was scared by a bug while he tried to claim..

Paddy: daddy, bug, bug,daddy…Daddy: Was it a big bug?! Daddy tried to be understanding…:-D

All the daddies have coffee, and all the mommies had some wine. After all, Oli is French. A little wine makes a French man very happy!

The older kids were just too fast for me to fellow..sorry, not so many of Cal and Naty’s photos..but it was one fine day….beside the fact that Mandy felt into the water pond and got socking wet..I had to stay in the car with her after that, it was windy and got a little chill later on..

Sweet Aich came to the rescue…she gave Mandy her own clothes and put the towel of her baby on Mandy to keep her warm…she was really shaking..poor thing…

Mandy’s wet clothes…

Mandy is happy! Now she is dry and she is warm in the car!

Paddy wants to paint too..

He decided its not fun anymore…

Paddy’s art!

So much fun just mixing it!

I forgot to take photos of her picture..I went to hang up the laundry and when I got back, they were done with daddy, and I forgot all about photos..well, next time,I guess.